In my email to him the other night, I told him how used I felt.....that I have sex with him, treat him and his kids with respect and kindness, that I try to be a good girlfriend, that I do and say things to show him what he means to me, but that he can't even say whether he'll be around in a freaking MONTH? Well he focused on the 'sex' aspect of this paragraph......told me it made him feel like to me, having sex with him is a 'gift' that I gift him (and basically more than what it is...just screwing for kicks)...and that resents that.......that I'm making such a big deal about sex, basically. That I'm somehow trying to make him feel guilty. Damn rights! Up until this relationship, I've never been in a relationship where sex entered the picture until we were both in love. Why I lowered my standards and principles here, is beyond me. I guess i could just tell that he had a very high sex drive and subconsciously, I feared that if he didn't 'get it soon', he'd just think I was a prude and he'd be gone. Yeah, I'm 34 and that stupid to fall for that.
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